1. Obama is elected
2. Conservatives, fearing loss of power and funding, appeal to their most bigoted, so-called Christian base with lies about Obama’s citizenship, ideology (socialism, communism), faith (Muslim)…blah blah blah, toss in some racist jokes and scream about loss of freedoms.
3. Tea Party candidates (who don’t know what the fuck they’re doing and apparently fear education and science and facts but love the spotlight and making ridiculous claims as they look to their future as commentators on Fox News) are swept into office by low-information voters afraid of being unarmed in the presence of a black man, or worse yet, a black man from the government.
4. Conservatives (many of whom might actually have some good ideas, but alas…earwax) are now at the mercy of the Tea Party and must dance to their wacky beat or risk being primaried and put out of a job in the disastrous economic climate they’ve created. They obstruct any legislation that might help the middle class. They limit Democratic voting access, restrict reproductive healthcare (hell, healthcare in general), and oppose full civil rights for the LGBT community.
5. Government shuts down for the first time in seventeen years on Oct. 1 2013.
Am I wrong? Did I miss anything?